41: What Lies at The Root of Burnout, Why Rest Alone Won’t Fix It And How To Get Out of Go Mode

Does it feel like no matter how much you cut back, take breaks, or try to rest, it’s never enough? In this episode, we’re unpacking why burnout isn’t just about stress or working too hard. Tune in to discover how you might be stuck in “go mode”, plus a small but powerful practice to start breaking the burnout cycle today.  

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Transcript

If you have ever found yourself thinking, if I could just be more productive, if I could just keep up, if I could just get it together, then I'd finally feel calm in control and like I was on top of my life instead of drowning in it. Then you want to listen to today's episode? Welcome. I'm Tertia, and you are listening to the Beyond Burnout for Driven Women Podcast, where we end the cycle of burnout so you can feel more alive, connected, and in control of your life if you are a high achiever ready to move past overwhelm, overthinking, and overdrive, and instead drop down into your body so you can start living full out. You are in the right spot. Let's dive in. I'm so familiar with this cycle where I thought that if I could just manage my schedule better, maybe even get up earlier every day so that I could get through it all, I'd finally feel calm and at ease.

But the thing is, no matter how much I accomplished, the stress never really lifted my to-do list, never stopped growing. And it's like you never actually arrive at the peace that you are chasing because there's always more. There's always going to be more emails, more deadlines, more laundry to fold, more dinner to cook, more things to get track of. And somehow, even if we do get through it all, we don't actually feel any better. We don't feel like we think we would feel doing more will never be enough unless we learn to slow down, unless we learn to tune in and actually give ourselves what we need. And if we don't do that, we become more and more disconnected from ourselves and that my friend is fertile breeding ground for burnout. And that's what I want to dive into in this episode with you today.

I want to look at why high achieving woman gets stuck in burnout. What's actually at the root of this? And here's a little hint. It's not just your workload. It's not your job that is the problem. And the first things that we can start doing to begin to break free. So I have some practises as always that I will share with you. So we've talked about how we can get stuck in the cycle of thinking. Once I get through this, then I'll finally feel better. But what happens is this finish line, it just keeps on moving. And if we go a level deeper, there's something bigger at play here. We live in a world that expects us to be on all the time. We are taught from a very young age. We see this in our peers. We see this in our family systems, that there is value in productivity, in efficiency, and in unpredictability.

We've been taught that consistency equals success. Just think about it. Work expects us to function on the same level every day, no matter how we feel. Productivity, culture tells us that we should get up at 5:00 AM and we should crush our goals and we should have the same level of energy every day. And even our wellness journey can feel like a to-do list. Meditate, journaling, drinking green juice, moving your body and doing it all consistently. But the thing is, we are not machines as women, we are cyclical beings. We have rhythms. Some days we feel energised and focused and ready to take on the world. And on other days we need rest. We need stillness. We don't honour these shifts. We try to force ourselves to be the same all the time. And that's where burnout starts. It's not just from overworking, but it's also from fighting against our own natural flow.

So this is when you wake up feeling great, but instead of adjusting your day, you tell yourself you just need to push through. And yes, it is not always possible for us to change our schedules and change our agendas because life is still going to happen. But even in this schedule, which is if you have a nine to five job, if you have a young family to take care of, even in this schedule that is mostly determined for you, there are still pockets where you can come home to yourself, where you can honour this energy and slow down the big problem that lies at the root of burnout. The way that I see it is not because we are doing too much, it's because we have learned to ignore our own rhythms. And if we add another layer to that is that this is the trap that so many of us fall into.

We have this idea that peace and fulfilment and that ease that we are searching for, it's just at the other side of getting things under control. Once we get ahead, once we get through the sea, then only can we exhale. But as you probably have realised in your own life, there's always going to be another deadline or another project, another unexpected thing that pops up because life doesn't magically slow down. It's up to us to take that responsibility and to create a new way of being, to devote ourselves to living in a different way. Otherwise, we will always find a reason why this week isn't the right time because work is too busy. The kids need more review, your overwhelmed. And we tell ourselves that next week will be different. But of course next week never comes because it's always going to be more of the same.

I see that this really comes from how we've been conditioned to live in this go mode and we've forgotten how to access our flow. And I'm using Go and Flow two terms that I borrowed from McKayla bom. So we've been taught how to live in go mode as high achieving woman. We have this inner drive to excel, this inner drive to do well. And go mode is something that is very familiar to us. It helps us get things done right, it helps us move forward, but we will never be able to show up as whole women as fully expressed in ourselves and fully contained in ourselves unless we also learn how to access our flow. When we stay in constant productivity mode, this go mode, our body gets stuck in a state of high alert. It's like we are always running from an invisible deadline waiting for that next fire to put out.

And if you've been living this way for many years, as most of us have, your nervous system has learned that go mode is normal. And what does this mean? It means that it feels so hard for us to slow down even when we know we need to. Slowing down doesn't feel like relief. It feels like something is wrong. If you have ever finally taken a break and you ended up feeling anxious or guilty, instead of being able to relax, your brain just keeps on listing all of the things that you should be doing. It's like a little hamstone a wheel in there. It's not that you are bad at relaxing, it's just that your nervous system doesn't feel safe to go out of go mode. So we need to learn how to access that flow because it's not natural for us. We are really good at pushing through and slowing down simply feels unnatural.

Our culture rewards logic over intuition. So we are very good at thinking through our problems and not feeling our way through them. We treat our bodies like machines instead of listening to what it is that they need. And that's why in my work with clients, I teach you how to drop from your head into your body. It's all about getting in touch with your feeling flowing, intuitive and magnetic self so that you can live from that. Our go mode is necessary sometimes because it helps us get things done, but we can't live there. We have to balance it with flow. And this is when we get into tune with our bodies, when we allow ourselves to fully feel our emotions and when we let our intuition guide our decisions. So where do we start? And that's what I want to take you through next. The good news is you don't have to completely overhaul your life or start burning everything down to shift this pattern.

So a simple practise that you can start today is instead of trying to be consistent all the time is to start paying attention to your own natural cycles. When do you feel most energised and focused? When do you feel more slower and more introspective? What times of the day or week do you feel more of a push forward, more proactive versus pulling back? And when you start tracking this, you'll start to see the pattern. You can tie this into your menstrual cycle where you can see at which times in your cycle your energy begins to always show up in a certain way. And once you are aware of your own natural cycles, once you begin to see what your energy does, you can begin to align with them instead of fighting against them. This is how we begin to step into more flow. I have one more practise that I'll share with you.

And this is one that I personally love, especially if I spent a whole day working behind my computer or if I was up in my head doing a lot of analytical strategic planning kind of work. And that is that I take a few minutes to drop back into my body. So at the end of my workday, I'll shake out my arms, I'll stomp my legs, I'll wiggle my hips. Sometimes I even put a song on and I dance to a song. But I make sure that I do an actual shift out of my productive go mode into more of my feeling flow mode. And this is something that you are meant to have fun with. Alright? So this is not consistent practise that you have to do. It's an invitation for you to come home to yourself by dropping out of the constant push and drive and knowing that it's not because you are bad at relaxing, that you are not able to slow down, but understanding that you just need to practise the skill of coming back into your body and the skill of connecting back into your flow.

I hope that what I've offered in this is going to be helpful for you on your path back to yourself. Maybe you are right in the middle of a burnout recovery journey right now, and I truly hope that you will find what I've shared here, supportive in any small way. Now, I don't want you to just nod along and think, oh, that was interesting. I want you to actually try something. So here's your challenge. Pick one small way to start shifting out of go mode today. And maybe that is simply noticing your own natural rhythm instead of forcing yourself to be on all the time. Or maybe it is taking that five minutes after your workday just to connect into your body either through dancing, through shaking your hands and arms or stomping your legs, whatever it is that you choose to do, just to connect back to your body.

And no matter what it is, start small and notice what shifts do you experience. And if this episode resonated with you, I have a small favour to ask. Please. My podcast is brand newly relaunched, and I would love for more women, more high achieving, overwhelmed, tired, but still pushing women to find this work. Because it matters. We all deserve to live as the fullest expression of ourselves. We all deserve to be connected to our wholeness. And one of the ways in which you can help that happen is to leave a quick review. It's going to take you 30 seconds, but it is going to make a huge difference in helping my podcast reach more women who need to hear it. So if you enjoyed this episode, if something clicked for you, and if you perhaps walking away with a new perspective, then go on. Give me a five star rating, write a short review, and let me know what landed for you. And if you are feeling extra generous, then go ahead and share this episode with a friend who needs to hear it. Because the more women who learn how to break free from burnout and reconnect with themselves, the better the world that we live in. Alrighty, love. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for spending this time with me and I will speak to you in the next episode.