#31 Complete and Create Your Year the Feminine Way

What if there was a way to complete our year, and create the next that we desire to step into, in a more feminine way? As the end of the year is nearing, many of us may feel pressure to still fit in a few things that we didn’t get around to.   This pressure puts our nervous system into fight/flight, and we start to rely on our masculine energy to pull us through.

Even though tapping into our masculine in this way is helpful, because it puts us into action and helps us move forward, when we stay in this energy for too long, we lose connection to our feminine energy.  We lose connection to our body, our feeling flowing feminine state because we are spending so much time up in our mental world. 

We are skilled in our masculine energy, and there's nothing wrong with that. We've come very far as a result of being able to tap into our masculine in this way.  However, many of us are waking up to the knowing that this is no longer enough. It doesn't fulfil us. We don't feel satisfied. 

We have a longing and a yearning for more depth, more richness, and more aliveness. And so we need to start doing things differently so that we can step into the fullness of our feminine power. 

Today on the podcast, I’m sharing with you practices for doing things differently to end this year and step into the next in a way that feels more spacious and abundant.

I share:

• The power of embracing cyclical living and experimenting with practices aligned with your natural rhythms.
• How to set heartfelt goals rooted in authentic desires, moving away from scarcity mindsets.
• Why prioritising morning rituals that nurture your feminine essence for a more intentional day is important.
• Practices that cultivate trust, our feminine power, and a sense of abundance.

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About Tertia

I am a certified feminine embodiment coach and embodiment teacher.

In my private coaching and online programs, I teach you to drop from your head into your body so you can take your nervous system out of survive into thrive, clearing the way for you to live a life that fills you with joy and be guided by your inner knowing instead of outside influence.

I trust you found this episode helpful! It would mean the world to me if you could leave the show a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and share it with your friends. That will help me reach more people. If you have any questions about this episode, I'd love to hear from you, send me a message via the links above.

Transcript

Welcome to Untamed and Embodied. I'm your host, Tertia Riegler, and today's episode is about practises, feminine practises that I want to share with you that's really going to support you to complete the current year and create the next in a way that feels more spacious and abundant. If you are watching this on YouTube, then hello, welcome. Going forward, I will be uploading a video episode for you on YouTube as well. And so you can, if you enjoy watching videos, then you can always catch me on YouTube or otherwise you can continue to listen to the podcast. I'm also going to be sharing with you more ways in which you can work with me in 2024, and for that, please make sure that you stay until the end. So this episode is going to be really helpful for you to kind of take stock of where you are in terms of your feminine energy, your embodiment journey, and it's going to help you to reorient and realign yourself with what it is that you want to step into next year in a way that feels better.
So I'm, in Human Design, I'm a 3 / 5, which means that I experiment a lot and then I teach from my experiments. I share with you what I learn from my experiments. What it means, for those of you that are also 3 / 5, you'll know that it means that often we fall on our faces a lot because we try out different things. And so looking back at this year, if I reflect on this year, there has been some big breakthroughs and there's also been some big disappointments. And so what I'm taking with me into 2024 is the intention of non-attachment. So to not be attached to the outcomes, one of the other things that I'm cultivating is to open my heart and also to soften my tail, which is an expression that I've learned from one of my mentors. And so as we get started here, I'll invite you to join me in experiencing the opening of your heart and the softening of your tail.
And you can do this by perhaps placing a hand on your heart and then closing your eyes if it's safe for you to do so. And this is really just going to allow you to connect inwards. So closing your eyes and just taking a few breaths here, just letting yourself slow down as we all come together here collectively. Everyone who's listening to this episode and just feeling into your heart, breathing into your heart space, feeling your body soft and secure and held in place by the furniture, the support that's underneath you. And just as you're breathing into your heart, feeling how your heart opens, how your heart softens, and then taking that breath down, breathing into your base, breathing into your tailbone, and then letting your tail soften. So just letting that whole area at the base of your spine, let that soften. What you'll notice, mostly as women, we tend to tense up this whole front area a lot.
We protect ourselves in this way from going into the world and there's nothing wrong with that. But the problem comes in that we then forget to take the shields down. We can become so used to being in this protected area that we forget that we don't always need to have that protection in us, and we don't have the skill anymore to let it fall away when we don't require it. And so this practise of opening your heart and softening your tail, this is going to be a practise that really supports you to learn the skill of softening when you need it, of softening into your feminine energy. So just notice how this feels in your body. Notice how this feels if you just let this your front, your centre channel and your tail if you let that soften. So in this episode today, I want to share from my heart to yours how we can end our year in a more feminine way.
And I want to even take it bigger than that. It's not simply about ending this year in a feminine way, but it's really about stepping into the next into the new in a way that also honours our feminine energy. And then being able to live this whole year in a way that is sustainable in a way that allows us to really step into our fullest expression in a way that allows us to cultivate really deep intimate relationships. And when we look at all areas of our lives, whether it's our work or our home or our wellbeing or our relationships, that in all four of those areas we are able to cultivate the depth and the relationalness that we require from these areas of our lives and the richness that we want to experience. And then also the fulfilment. So it really seems as if life is speeding up every year seems to go past quicker, and I noticed that especially as my kids, as our kids are growing up every year there are more things that need to happen.
It really feels as if life is speeding up. And I was talking to my husband earlier in the week and he was mentioning at how things are totally crazy at work because everybody has a deadline that they want to have met by the end of this month, which is at the time of this recording is in December. And so I can remember even from my days in corporate how there was this huge rush to towards the end of the year. And then mentally we have this idea of a hard stop on the 31st of December. Yes, that plays out in work, but it also plays out in our own personal relationship with ourselves where we have this mental hard stop of the way that things aren't going to be anymore and the way that things need to be. What's interesting though is that this 31st of December, that is really just a manmade date.
If we look at some of the other cultures around the world, I think there are five or six different cultures that celebrate New Year at a different time. So not everyone celebrates on the 1st of January, even though that's like the global agreed New Year. So there are many different New Years. So I'm giving you permission that you don't have to feel pressurised to have everything done by the 31st of December. It's very helpful to work in a linear timeline like this. For example, I know that this is going to be my last podcast for 2023, and so when we have a linear timeline, we can have agreements, we can have measurements, and it gives us some guidance in terms of how we want to move through the world. The problem comes though when this becomes an unhealthy time pressure, when we experience that subsequent criticism and the feeling of not being enough, not being good enough, and this really puts our nervous system into fight or flight.
It's not supportive or sustainable for any human being to live like this, and especially not for us who identify as feminine essence beings. So even though this mindset of getting things done by the 31st can be helpful because it puts us into action and it helps us move forward and it gives us direction and discipline and it helps us to strategize and we get this dopamine hit when we tick off all of our to-do lists in the process, what happens is we also lose connection to our feminine energy. We lose connection to our body, our feeling flowing feminine state because we are spending so much time up in our mental world. And so when we are really tapped into that, we are tapping into our masculine. And this time of year, this seems to be especially prevalent. And then when we start talking about New Year's resolutions, that is, I feel it's another layer that comes on top, the expression that can so easily show up for us as women where we feel that we are too much of something or not enough of something else.
So we turn to New Year's resolutions. And again, this is another layer of pressure that we put on ourselves and on our nervous systems and on our mental thought loops that can turn on us. I always speak about the good girl, the very dark bit of the good girl is how she turns on us. Not only does she work in ways to serve and to please others and to be approved of, but she's also very vicious and ferocious as she turns on us, she turns on herself when she doesn't tick all the boxes that the external world expects of her. And so these mental thought loops that happen as a result of our good girl thinking can also put our nervous system into fight or flight. And the secret to changing new habits because this is what it is, right? If you are desiring to create something new, if you want to change something in your life which is not working for you, it's usually because you have another habit in its place, which is of course the habit that you want to change.
But the secret to changing habits is to do this from a place where we are internally resourced. And as long as your nervous system is stuck in fight or flight, as long as you are driving yourself primarily from your masculine energy, it's going to take a lot of effort to try and change any of those patterns, those neural pathways that have been driven so deeply into our nervous system. I have a few practises that I want to share with you. I think I've got three practises that I want to share with you that's really going to the intention that I have with them is for you to begin to develop a different orientation to how you can work more with your feminine energy. And the first practise, which I personally found super, super helpful, and I've been doing this for a few years now, is I've changed my thinking from linear timeline driven to time is more cyclical.
So I'm thinking not of time anymore as linear, but more of time as cyclical. And you can imagine if you think of big wheel that turns, if you had to break this wheel into quadrants, as the wheel turns, a different part gets to be on top. And if we look at the seasons, we are always going to have winter at some point. If we put the seasons into this wheel, we always going to have summer, we are always going to have spring. So it's going to be the same every year, but it's different. And this reminds me of the expression that I first heard in Thailand many years ago where they go same, same but different. And this is what happens if we think of time as cyclical. It's same, same but different. And there's safety in that predictability that sameness, that knowing that as the wheel turns, there's always something predictable in what is coming up and what can be expected. Now, in my own personal practise, and I've also spoken about this a lot before, is I use the moon cycles, I use the seasons of the year, and then I also use my own menstrual cycle to plan and structure my activities around. And this allows me to function in the linear world, but I'm doing it on my terms. And I think this is what I really want you to take away.
Excuse me. This is what I want you to take away from this section is we are still supposed to function in this world, but we can do it on our terms. This is where our sovereignty lies. As women, this is how we fully step into our power, is to navigate and to move through the world on our terms in a way where we are resourced in a way that we are sustained, in a way that we honour our interconnectedness to each other and to the planet. So for example, an easy way that you can do this is to start working with the moon. New moon is a great time to reset. It's the beginning of new things. So it's really for us, it's time to kind of flow over into the next. It's a time for us not to create anything yet, but to really being in the resetting to maybe reflect back on where we've come from and see what it is that we want to take with us into the next.
And so a practise that you can do for yourself is not taking many hours out of your day, but when it is the New moon, and there are many apps that you can use that tracks the moon cycles. I have an app on my phone that I can always quickly check in where is the moon and which phase the moon is in. And so when it is new year , when it is new moon rather at the new moon, you can just hold the intention of releasing what is no longer required and resetting yourself so that you can move into the next. But we are not moving yet. We're just holding the space. And then when we come out of the new moon energy, that is when we start moving into the next. And the same is true for you if you want to work with your cycle, like I work with my cycle and when I bleed, this is a time where I rest.
This is a time for inward reflection. Similar to when we work with the new Moon energy, it's a time where we don't start with new projects and new things, but it's really a time of slowing ourselves way down and then getting ready, garnering and building that energy from within so that when the bleed is gone, when we move out of the new moon phase, that we can start moving into the next. And the thing is that when we start living in this way, I feel this is another secret of us really honouring our feminine energy is when we start living in this way, we are not pushing against our own body's energy. We are really honouring our own truth. We are honouring our own energy, our own way of being in the world. And what we also do is we begin to cultivate trust. Like trust,
for us to soften into our feminine, we need to cultivate that trust. And for so many years we have not trusted ourselves, we have not trusted our feminine because of the messages that we've received, because of the culture that we live in, where we've been told that the feminine is dangerous, the feminine is weak, the feminine is not as valuable as the masculine. And so we've lost that trust in our feminine. And I find that by beginning to work with cycles in this way, one of the side effects, one of the sweet results is that we begin then also to cultivate our trust. Because when we are in the phase of stillness, when we are in the new moon phase of resetting, when we are in the phase of our bleed, or even in the winter, if we work with the biggest cycles of the season, we trust that spring will come.
We trust that we will move out of this time of darkness and introspective and introspection, and that there is going to be a time where we feel more powerful, where we feel more expressive and where we have more energy to attend to the things that we are passionate about. So I find it's really helpful for us to start doing practises like this in following the cycles of the season and the cycles of your own body to begin to cultivate that trust. I know that in the way that the world today, it's not always possible to do that. I know your boss is not going to let you leave that project, which is due to only happen next year in March. That's clear. What I really mean here is that it's our own energy, it's our own orientation towards life. If we do that first, and if we start honouring what is true for us on a cyclical level in this way and we start listening to our intuitive wisdom in this way, then we can start seeing the changes happening out in our world that is inevitable, but it has to start as a self-practice first.
So I'm just curious how this lands for you. Just as I'm sharing this with you, do you feel that this is something that is possible, something that is out of reach? Do you long to start living in a way that honours the cycles of your energy and the season more? Whatever it is that you are feeling or thinking inside, there is a message in there for you.
Alright. Now, something that usually floods social media at this time of year is the well-meaning advice on how to crush your goals, how to set goals, how to be more productive, how to ace your productivity and how to set resolutions that work. I just feel like a lot of pressure. I love a good goal. I feel goals are super important to keep us on track, but there is a way for us to create goals and to set resolutions in a way that feeds us and in a way that really honours who we are as women. And this is what turns on our magnetism. So while I was preparing for this episode, I was just reading a little bit about resolutions. And there's some research that says that by April the people, not everyone makes New Year's resolutions of course, but by April, most of the people who have made New Year's resolutions have forgotten them.
And those are like the last outliers. Many people only make it until February before they let go their resolutions. And I believe this is because of two reasons. Number one is because we are creating these resolutions from a scarcity mindset. Like earlier when I spoke about this, the habits that we are trying to change, if we are doing that from a way or from a nervous system that's tight and tense, we have to use a lot of willpower to make that happen. When we are coming from there's something missing in my life or I need to change something so that I can feel something else instead, we usually have a scarcity mindset. It may mean that we are not aligned with our desires. So our desires are really the truth of our longings and our earnings, but we cannot land on our desires in our minds.
Often the things that we think we should work towards or the goals that we should set, if it comes from our mind, it's usually because we're trying to live up to other people's expectations. It's that good girl feeling the pressure about all the shoulds, and I'm putting shoulds here in quotation marks, all the shoulds that she should do in order for her to be loved or accepted. And so we use our discipline and we use our willpower to make these things happen. And of course, that's not sustainable and that's why New Year's resolutions fizzle out by April. That's like four months into the calendar year. So when we are connected to our feminine feeling flow, we cultivate that connection to our inner world. This is when we really begin to understand our internal landscape. I have been on this path of connecting with my divine feminine energy for a few years now.
And from where I'm standing, it's not possible for us to connect into the divine feminine that we are without embodying her, without being embodied, without being in our bodies. Our nervous system is not only meant to keep us safe, our nervous system is not only meant to be in survive mode, it's also supposed to thrive. We want to have that balance between survive and thrive, survive and thrive. And in my experience, when we begin to cultivate that connection to our internal landscape, to our internal feminine feeling and our internal feminine flow, this is when we begin to teach our nervous system how to thrive, how to relax, how to open up. Our masculine dominated world has taught us that our survival depends on using our mind and using our thinking. And that really just takes us out of our body when we are in our bodies, when we land in our bodies, this is when we know our desires. And so I'm inviting you just to imagine for a moment how much more staying power

and power your goals will have if you create them and you vision them and you dream them, not from a place of the mind of should, but you vision them from your feminine truth. This is feminine magnetism in action. So every year I host a year end ritual. It is about completing the year and then creating the next year. And this year I've split it into four different sections. And in each section we'll be focusing on a specific area. So in this year, in 2023, our focus is really on looking back, celebrating, acknowledging and reflecting on where we've come, where we've come from, and then also releasing all of the unmet expectations, releasing all of the blocks and the beliefs and the heartaches and the heartbreaks that we might have experienced throughout this year. And then going into the next year, creating the next year in January, I have two more workshops also around this theme of completing and creating your year in a more feminine way.
And in those two workshops or those two sessions, we're really focusing on creating that connection with your internal world so that you can begin to cultivate your desires, cultivate your longing, cultivate your deepest connection to yourself and your sovereignty. And then we also go into the realms of feminine magnetism of what it is that you want to create and for you to show up in such a way where you are your most powerful self to create that which you desire. So I'll put a link for you in the show notes if you are interested in taking part, joining us in those workshops. And then you can simply sign up from the link in the show notes. So these practises that I've shared with you today, these are practises that asks us to slow down. And this is the third feminine practise that I want to share with you today.
This is another topic that I speak about so much. It's not possible for us. It's impossible really to connect with yourself, connect with your inner world, and connect with what is really true for you and your intuitive wisdom and your sovereignty if you are not in your body. And when you are out there living in the world, then you are again in your mind. This is what I speak about all the time of how we are so connected into our masculine skill of planning and strategizing and thinking, and we haven't really learned how to connect and cultivate that relationship with our body. So embodied movement practises, which is incidentally some of the things that we'll do in the workshop, embodied movement practises, embodied feminine type meditations, these are things that will help you to slow down and that will help you to connect into your body.
One of my key missions in life is to teach women how to slow down, to teach women how to live more intentionally in a way that honours their feminine, in a way that makes them feel more sustained and nourished, so that they can be more radiant and magnetic. And I know with all of the demands on our time, it's not easy to find the time. We don't have a few hours in our day that we can take off to sit in deep meditation somewhere on a mountaintop. We've got lives to live, so we've got kids to take care of. We've got careers to take care of. We've got businesses to run so I understand there are so many demands on our time. So what I want to share with you here is such a beautiful and easy and practical little tool that you can start with right now.
And that is you don't need to take lots of hours out of your day, but how you begin your day is what is going to support your energy throughout the day. So if we create a change on a micro level, we will then begin to create the change on the macro level as well. So your morning routine, I'm going to start there. Just think back to how you started your morning today. Did you tumble out of bed and rush to get lots of things done? How long after you woke up did you reach for your phone to check your messages, to go onto social media, or to even answer an email? When we start a day like this, it's really very difficult to tap into our feminine energy at a later stage in the day. So what you want to do, and this is another key teaching of connecting to your divine feminine energy, is before you do everything else, you want to feed the feminine first.
And this is an expression, a term that I learned from Ariel Spilsbury feeding the feminine first. And all this really means is that you're connecting to yourself. You're connecting to your heart. If we reach for our phones technology, work, our to-do list first thing in the morning, it puts us in that masculine mind, that masculine planning energy, and we develop the habit because everything that you do, when you do that enough times, it becomes a habit. So we develop then this habit of moving into our heads first thing in the morning. It teaches your nervous system that your energy should go into your head. Our nervous system, our brains are super, super efficient and it'll always allocate energy for where it is needed. So if you are always going to pull your awareness and your attention into your head, guess what? You're not going to feel your body.
You're going to end up feeling, if you do this over a period of time, you'll realise that you feel dry, you feel uninspired, and you might even feel numb. And so when we feed our feminine, what we are doing is we are beginning to break down this well-trodden pathway of always going into our minds first, because we are learning, we're teaching rather, we are teaching our nervous system that the body, our feminine essence, our hips and our pelvis and our belly and our hearts, this is where the energy should go. First thing as we start our day, our feeling flowing, feminine is what makes us feel juicy. It's what makes us feel alive. And this is what turns on our radiance. This is what turns on our magnetism. So for us to connect into our feminine, it's not a list of things that we must do or clothes that we must wear, or ways that we should do our makeup or the ways that we should beautify our homes.
No, it's these little simple practises of always coming back to the self and of coming back to the body and of honouring who you are first. Because if you honour who you are, if you check in with how you are doing what you need today, if you make it a practise to first connect through your day with your senses, when you're drinking your morning tea or your morning coffee, really experience it through all of your senses, the smell of it and the taste of it and the warmth of it. Listen to what's happening around you. Maybe you can hear the birds outside. Just really delving into the senses also begins to cultivate that connection to ourselves and it begins to cultivate that connection to our pleasure body. So do that with me now, let's connect in. I've done a lot of talking now, so let's just connect in and see what it is that we need right now. So closing your eyes if it's safe for you to do so, just allowing yourself to slow down. Again, dropping from the level of the mind where you were listening and allowing yourself to just drop into your body, maybe noticing, are you feeling tense anywhere?
Just noticing what's happening with your energy. And then just dropping in the question, what do I need in this moment? And then just trust what comes up. No need to make a big story or try and think of something. Something might come up, nothing might come up. Whatever it is, it's perfect for you. Our world is geared towards the masculine. We are so skilled in our masculine energy, and there's nothing wrong with that. We've come very far as a result of being able to tap into our masculine in this way. And, so many of us are waking up to the knowing that this is no longer enough. It doesn't fulfil us. We don't feel satisfied. We have a longing and a yearning for more depth, more richness, and more aliveness.
We are skilled in our masculine, but our feminine is neglected and our feminine is sometimes even wounded. And so we need to start doing things differently so that we can step into the fullness of our feminine power. And if you're ready to start doing things differently, then these practises that I've shared with you are a great place to start. They're easy to do. You don't need to spend any money to get started. And you can start right now. So before I wrap us up for today, I just want to share with you the ways that you can work with me going forward. But let's take a breath first.
Okay, so going forward with me, I'm continuing to welcome in beautiful women to work with me in my one-on-one containers. You can find all information about that on the website, which I'll link for you in the show notes below. And then I'm also super excited in March, I'm starting with a new group programme about awakening our divine feminine energy and cultivating our feminine essence. And if you want to be part of this very first rollout of the group programme, then make sure that you get on my newsletter because this is where I'll share all the information as soon as enrollment opens for that. I'll also put that link for you in the show notes. And then what I also am excited to announce is that from next year, I'll be hosting monthly embodied movement classes. And again, get onto my newsletter and this way you'll know when a class is being offered.
So let's wrap this up. I'd love to hear from you what landed in this episode. So if you are watching on YouTube, you can simply leave me a comment, or if you are listening on the podcast, you can send me a message on Instagram and my Instagram name is tertiarieglerembodiment. There'll also be a link to that in the show notes. I would also appreciate it so much, if you enjoyed this episode and you found value in it, if you could leave a rating or even a review on this episode wherever you are listening to this podcast. Thank you so much for tuning in.