#28 My 3 Truths for Living a Sensually Alive and Magnetic Life

The way to a sensually alive and magnetic life can’t be found in our minds or using things like affirmations or positive thinking. It’s my experience that your mind may offer the beginnings of that thought but then, your mind has the tendency to take on a life of its own.  It either floats away or contorts into something that becomes a lot like efforting, which is the total opposite of ease and flow.  And yet even if I know this, the ingrained habit of looking to my mind to give me answers still has a hold on me.  

I found myself this morning going through the mind motions of willing a certain result for a personal goal that I have been working with, into being. By the time I caught up with myself (or rather by the time I caught up with my mind), my body was feeling decidedly un-magnetic.  My mind was racing at a mile a minute, trying to come up with solutions and it was weighing me down. Fortunately, as a practitioner of the embodied arts, I have my medicine on standby.  In this case, my medicine is my regular embodiment practice, taken in whatever dosage I imagine I need. And, as is usually the case, during my embodiment practice I uncovered a new truth for me to explore and deepen into. 

In this episode, I offer you 3 of my truths for living a more sensually alive and magnetic life, and if these truths resonate with you, then I warmly invite you to try them on for size, and make them your own.  

I share:

• The limitations of finding answers and solutions in the mind
• Why embodiment is my preferred practice for living a more sensually alive and magnetic life. 
• An invitation to seduce yourself and explore different archetypes or roles
• Embrace the season that you are in and surrender  attachment to specific outcomes
• Tuning into your feminine wisdom and accessing inner knowing and intuition

Resources mentioned

• How the practice of embodiment leads to liberation >>>listen here<<<

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About Tertia

I am a certified feminine embodiment coach and embodiment teacher.

In my private coaching and online programs, I teach you to drop from your head into your body so you can take your nervous system out of survive into thrive, clearing the way for you to live a life that fills you with joy and be guided by your inner knowing instead of outside influence.

I trust you found this episode helpful! It would mean the world to me if you could leave the show a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and share it with your friends. That will help me reach more people. If you have any questions about this episode, I'd love to hear from you, send me a message via the links above.

Transcript

Hi, and welcome to the Untamed and Embodied Show. I'm your host, Tertia Riegler feminine embodiment coach, and here to help you cultivate a life of radiance, everyday pleasure and unapologetic self-expression. Join me every week as I share how you can tap into your feminine flow so you can come home to yourself and live your life from a place of inner freedom and aliveness. Something that you may suspect, but that I want to confirm for you now is that the way to a sensually alive and magnetic life can't be found in your mind or by using affirmations or positive thinking. Your mind may be the beginning of thoughts like that, but then it takes on a life of its own, it either floats away or it contorts into something that becomes a lot like efforting, which is the total opposite of ease and flow, which is the total opposite of being connected to your sensual aliveness and being magnetic in that. And yet, even though I know this, I teach this, I talk to you about this, these ingrained habits of looking for the answers and the solutions in our mind still has a hold on me. So I found myself this morning going through mind motions of willing a certain result into being. This is a personal goal that I've had for a while now, and in my personal practice I've been working around that. And by the time that I caught up with myself today or caught up with my mind, my body was feeling totally un-magnetic.
My mind was racing at a mile a minute trying to come up with solutions and making plans. And the effort of that was weighing me down. My body felt heavy, I felt exhausted, and I felt hopeless. So fortunately, as a practitioner of the embodied arts, I had my medicine on standby. I always have my medicine on standby, and my medicine is of course my embodiment practice. And I take it in whatever dosage I feel is required for that day. So sometimes on some days a short, little 10 to 15 minute practice is enough to open me into flow. And on other days I need longer. I may take 40 minutes for me to connect into my flow and into my truth. And so today on my mat, I discovered that there were new layers again to unravel. Somehow I'm continuously surprised by the level of sophistication of these deeply ingrained patterns that we have.
But as is the case with embodiment and embodiment practices, these layers do unravel. These sophisticated mechanisms dissolve and they reveal a truth underneath that we can then explore. And so in this episode today, I want to offer you three of my truths for living more sensually alive and living more magnetically. And if these truths resonate with you, then I warmly invite you to try them on for size and make them your own. Now they are in no specific order of importance. To be honest, I am sharing them with you as they came up with me. And in fact, they are actually all intertwined. So none of them stand independent of the other. The very first truth is to seduce yourself. Now, I love slipping into archetypes or roles for different aspects of my life. I believe we can really harness the collective energy that an archetype offers us.
But even though an archetype may have a predefined shape, it's important to know and remember and realise that it's not the only shape it has. And in fact, we can perhaps be limited sometimes if we hold only onto the predefined shape that an archetype has. What I mean by that is that we are free to expand our interpretation of that archetype, and perhaps role is therefore a better word to use because it's not so nuanced. So we are free to expand our interpretation of the role that we choose to inhabit in a certain area of our life, and we can shape it in a way that is more in alignment with what is true for us. And so for our exploration in this first point, I invite you to slip into the role of seductress. Now, play with me for a moment. If it's safe for you to close your eyes, you may also want to do that simply because it will help you to tune into your inner world and cut out any external distractions that may be around you. And while you're there, just take a few breaths with me. You don't have to breathe in any particular way. Just take a few breaths. Simply notice how your breath flows in and out of your nose or your mouth, and you can feel your body wherever it is in time and space. If you're sitting down or even standing, feel the surface of the furniture or the floor beneath you. And this is now what we are playing. If you were to seduce yourself, what would you do differently? What kind of energy would you hold? What kinds of things would you start doing for yourself? Or perhaps what would you stop doing?
And what about your self talk? Does it change at all as you embody this seductive aspect of yourself? And then if you can take it just a tiny step further, if you were to seduce your life, what would you do differently then? What would you desire and demand I wonder? So you are welcome to open your eyes again if you had them closed. And perhaps just take a moment here to reflect silently on any insights or new awareness that may have opened up for you. Now I see that there are three benefits from seducing yourself, and this is why I recommend it, for really getting in touch with yourself so that you can step into the experience of being that alive and radiant woman. The first benefit from seducing yourself is that you treat yourself way nicer emotionally, which is a refreshing change from the bullying and the comparison and the imposter syndrome and the breaking down of yourself and the criticism that I know so many women, myself included, struggle with.
As I feel into this myself, I notice how my inner critic fades into the background and my inner charm turns up. The second reason why it is so good for you to practice seducing yourself is because your internal walls start coming down. And so as you start moving towards being more vulnerable and intimate with yourself and what you are feeling, it folds out into your relationships as well. It begins to transform your relationships as well. And then the final reason why it is really good is because your desires that may have been laying dormant for how long they begin to unfurl and they begin to seed your visions for the future, for new possibilities, for yourself, for your life, and that is one of the key ingredients for a magnetic life. Alrighty, so let's take a breath here and let that land. My second truth is to embrace the season that you are in.
Now here we can take our cue from Mother Nature to inform us about the aspects of each season and then we can translate that into our lives. So a very simplified view: You see what happens in summer or winter or spring or autumn, and then you apply those same events, changes, transformations and energies to your own life. Okay? So this is a very feminine way of viewing the world. Our hyper-masculine world, our hyper-masculine culture, it mostly functions on a 24/7, 365 days timeline. So see if this looks familiar or sounds familiar, we start on January 1st. We push as much as we can to December the 31st, and then we feel pressure to make resolutions that we know we probably won't be able to keep and we start all over again. It's not all bad though because many of us feel a new excitement and ready to go kind of energy at the start of the year.
We have often big dreams and goals of what we want to accomplish during the year ahead, but then along the way we get disillusioned and it becomes a slog. And then finally, we just want the year to finally end because we are done and we're finished. The failing with this kind of time management though is that it is linear. Don't get me started on how incredibly unsustainable it is. But I also know that most of us are caught in this linear timeline trap simply by virtue of being alive in the world at this point of time. And we have to make a living. The problem is though, if we are really invested and bought into this kind of thinking, this linear timeline thinking is that it fools us into thinking that the only way is forward. The only way is onwards and upwards. And then when we, as feminine essence beings, when we experience periods in our lives that are downwards instead of upwards, that are more inwards instead of outwards where we are still and heavy, instead of pumping with creativity and tasking like a boss ninja, we immediately think that there is something wrong that needs fixing.
Now, this goal that I've been telling you about, if I had to describe it in terms of seasons, if I had to align myself with a season I would be in spring. And this awareness dropped in as I was doing my embodiment practice. Now, as you're probably aware, spring is the season of new beginnings. So Mother Nature is refreshed after her quiet time. She's been dormant during the winter time and now she's bursting to life. And everywhere you look, new life is starting and spring is the time when we plant our seeds. It's when we start to get our gardens ready and we attend to them and we plant the fields and then we harvest them when they are ripe and ready for the picking, not before. So this is one of the key benefits that I see when we embrace the season that we are in.
It helps us to surrender our attachment to having a certain outcome within a certain timeframe. So in my example, I desperately wanted to be an autumn already where I could gather and harvest, but the truth is I'm still in spring. And knowing that feeling the truth in my body that I am in spring, it offers me relief. It takes away the pressure so that I can use my focus and my energy where it matters. So it might be worth mentioning here that our internal seasons have nothing to do with the actual season of the year. And what I mean is that you can be in a completely different season internally while there's another season happening outside in the world. So right now, where I live, for example, it's autumn, and yet I am in spring. And there's no rule as to how long your inner seasons last.
That's the magic of the feminine, the time cycles as it should. And then another layer that I want to offer here is that we can also be in more than one season in the different areas of our life. So you may find yourself that in your career you are in autumn or in your health, you are in spring. So it doesn't mean that when you are experiencing winter season that it will be winter in all areas of your life or summer in all areas of your life. So it is very nuanced. Getting back to our hyper-masculine world, another effect of living in this world is that we connect our worth to our results. So when something doesn't unfold in the way that you think it should or it takes longer than you think it should, it's very easy to assume that that is a direct reflection of your worth.
You must be doing something wrong. Or there's this old standby that had a very big hold on my body for a long time and still has its claws in me from time to time: there's something wrong here that needs to be fixed. And this can lead you down a rabbit hole of trying all kinds of different solutions. And maybe some of these solutions and ideas and lifestyle changes that you come up with are supporting you and it's good changes that you make. However, if you are still holding on to the idea that the season that you are in is where the problem is, can you see that no matter what you are trying to do to fix that, you will not experience relief. And also even if you know on a cognitive level, alright, this is the season that I'm in, and things will probably just work out,
the deep surrender that can happen when you embrace the season that you're in can't be achieved through cognitive reasoning. I can assure you from firsthand experience that it's way more powerful to know it on a somatic level, to feel the truth of it in your body and in your bones. As we embrace the season that we are in, I see that it allows us to resign from this hyper-masculine way of existing and we can hold that truth in our bodies and in our being. And what this means is that you do the work to unravel the conditioning that makes you put so much stress and pressure on yourself, and you begin practises that resource you to live more nourished and to feel more sustained in an unsustainable world. And so I'm curious if you can identify which season you are in right now, and it could be in any area of your life. And what is your relationship towards this season?
Have you been resisting it or are you welcoming the insights and the gifts that this specific season can offer you? And so this brings me then to my final truth, and that is the truth of tuning into your feminine wisdom. So there's a line in the book, sweat Your Prayers by Gabrielle Roth that I love. She writes, and I quote, inside your body, your mind is a crystal ball, end quote. Isn't that powerful? Your body holds the memories and the aches of your past and the dreams and the fears of your future. And your mind can be your ally as your awareness lands on these threads, this tapestry that's held in your fingers and in your shoulders or in your belly and at the back of your knees. And as your awareness lands there, you can let yourself feel what is here. I see that the spaces that are woven in between the threads, that is our feminine wisdom, that is our inner knowing of our truth, our conviction of what is good for us and for our bodies and for the planet.
So how often do we try to use our minds as a crystal ball? Quite a lot, I would say. The only thing is we have that crystal ball floating high above our bodies and up there it tunes into things that may not be our truth. Inside our bodies, the truth is illuminated and like that crystal ball that sees it all, we can begin to know our sticky points like the beliefs and the ideas that cut us off from our flow, from our wisdom, from our intuition. Tapping into your feminine wisdom can guide you into making different choices. And a good example perhaps to use here is that our feminine wisdom informs our boundaries. So here's a question for you. Do you lack some boundaries in your life due to external pressures or maybe obligation? This in my experience, is one of the most common boundary challenges that there is.
And if you find yourself in such a situation, you may also find that your boundaries continuously fluctuate. They are either super rigid and immovable, and then they go over to the other extreme where they simply disappear. And there's this cycle that we go through emotionally of guilt and resentment and guilt and resentment that either builds this boundary up or makes it go porous. Here's the thing, when our minds are floating above our bodies, we cannot hear ourselves. We end up doing extreme things like taking advice from people who might not even have our best interest at heart, or people who love us and have our best interest at heart, but they don't know what is best for us. Or it might be as simple as habitually ignoring that little inner voice, turning yourself and your attention away from it and pushing it aside. So the way back to your feminine wisdom requires your devotion.
That's how we get back there. Now, I define devotion, not at all in the religious sense, but I define it as deliberately attending to your inner aliveness, to your sovereignty and to living your deepest truth. We devote to entering into intimacy and to vulnerability with ourselves first, and then we fuel our actions and our choices with our feminine feeling and our feminine flow. Now, this could look like an embodiment practice of some sort because remember, our aim here is to get in touch with our bodies and the currents of aliveness there. So I find the quickest way for me to shift out of my mental headspace where I'm often overthinking things into a space where I'm feeling more sensually alive, where I'm feeling more resourced is through an embodiment practice. I find it to be the best way for me to unravel any tension that I might be holding into flow.
And if you would like to try an embodiment practice for yourself, I have a free practice which I created that will support you to connect with and reclaim all of yourself. It's called Whole Woman, and you can download it from the link in the description. Your internal world is a rich and luscious landscape, and that is where you can find your personal freedom. Our bodies hold the key to our embodied liberation, and I've spoken about this in a previous episode. I'll put that for you in the show notes as well, the link to that. It's also there that you find your courage to devote yourself to living as sensually alive and magnetic woman. So here's the invitation for you to seduce yourself and to embrace the season that you are in, which may be the masculine structure that your feminine craves so that she can flow and express. I'd love to hear how this landed for you. So shoot me an email. I'll put the link for you in the show notes as well, or you are very welcome to message me on either Instagram or Facebook.