#12 Making The Right Decision For Yourself | body wisdom and self-trust

We need to make decisions all the time.  From the really small and fairly insignificant decisions like, what am I gonna wear today, or what am I going to have for breakfast? To really big existential kinds of decisions like what am I going to do with my life? And then obviously everything in between. 

The skill of making good decisions is a necessary ingredient to be able to live a fulfilling life.

In the episode, I share how to make body-based decisions and the feminine embodiment practices that can support you.

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About Tertia

I am a certified feminine embodiment coach and embodiment teacher.

In my private coaching and online programs, I teach you to drop from your head into your body so you can take your nervous system out of survive into thrive, clearing the way for you to live a life that fills you with joy and be guided by your inner knowing instead of outside influence.

I trust you found this episode helpful! It would mean the world to me if you could leave the show a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and share it with your friends. That will help me reach more people. If you have any questions about this episode, I'd love to hear from you, send me a message via the links above.

Transcript

If you're watching this video, you are ready to learn how to make decisions that you can trust by following your own inner wisdom. And by the end of this video, you'll know how to use feminine embodiment practices to make better decisions. And I'm sharing this with you as someone who has made some really poor decisions in the past. And I had to find a way to learn how to make better decisions. And I discovered that as I became more embodied, as I connected deeper into my feminine wisdom and my feminine truth, I began to trust myself more. I was able to make better decisions. It's worked for me, and this is now what I teach my clients too. So the secret is this, for us to make better decisions, we need to be connected into our body. We need to make body-based decisions. So how do we make body-based decisions? And there are really four things that I want to share with you. Number one, move beyond the pros and cons. Number two, practice listening to your body's signals. Number three, shift your mindset to see that you do know what is best for you. Number four, get to know the language of your inner world. Now we need to make decisions all the time, and they can be really small and fairly insignificant decisions like, what am I gonna wear today? Or what am I going to have for breakfast? To really big existential kind of decisions like what am I going to do with my life? And then obviously everything in between. And it can be really challenging and difficult to make some of these bigger life decisions often because we don't know that we are going to make the right choice. We don't know what direction we should go in or what it is that we should choose. So this can create a lot of internal turmoil and stress. If they haven't been the right decision or we regret some of these decisions that we made, this is something that we carry with us for most of our lives then until we are able to resolve, work through or forgive ourselves for some of the decisions that we made. So the skill of making good decisions really is a necessary ingredient to be able to live a fulfilling life. So without further ado, let's get into the four ways that you can learn how to make better decisions. Move beyond the list of pros and cons. I don't know about you, but things on paper often seem much better than what they are in real life. We've probably all been in a situation where we needed to decide about something and you felt stuck. So for me, it's a sense of almost going forwards and backwards. I'll decide, yes, I'm going to do something or not, and then I kind of backtrack and I change my mind, and then I decide for it again, and then I decide against it again. So it's this tumbling dance that you find yourself in. And this can be very frustrating. So one of the things that I learned many years ago was if you are in a situation like this where you're stuck and you don't know what to decide, then it can be very helpful to make a list of pros and cons.  The limitation with this method though, is that it relies really on our analytical and rational faculties to solve a problem. So we're spending a lot of time here in the realm of the mind, and we are largely disconnected from the data which is in the body. And because we are suppressing and ignoring and pushing aside whatever data it is that the body wants to offer us, this can make you feel more stressed because of the nervous system that gets activated. And then we go into fixing mode. We go into solving mode. And so by learning to tap into the data that the body holds, the information that the body holds, it's going to help you to make better decisions for you. So it's going to help you make the decisions that are right for you. And in order to do this, we move on to number two, which is practice to listen to your body's signals. Our bodies are sending us signals all the time. So it could be very big signals about what's happening in our external environment or internally, or it can be more subtle signals. Now we've become very good at ignoring these signals. Think for example, even big signals like when you thirsty or you need to go to the bathroom, how easy is it to just ignore that? How often do you, the moment that you realise you're thirsty, or the moment that you realise you need to use the bathroom, how often does it happen that you immediately go or that you immediately take something to drink? And how often does it happen that you wait a little bit and finish with whatever it is that you're busy with or wait to do it a little bit later when it is going to be more convenient? So we really have been trained with training ourselves to ignore these signals of our bodies and also in the world. Think about in school, you have to go wait for a bathroom break. So you can't follow the impulse of your body. And there's no right or wrong here. But the truth is, when you are ignoring these bigger signals of your body, it makes sense that it's even more difficult to access the more subtle senses that your body have. So for us to be able to connect into our own wisdom, it's necessary for us to learn how to tune into and listen to these more subtle sensations. All the data from our mental body, our emotional body, our physical body, and also our energetic body. All of that data can be felt and experienced in your inner world. And this is really then a key feminine embodiment skill is to learn how to become sensitive or to develop and cultivate a sensitivity for this rich inner world. Because this really becomes your north star, this becomes your compass. And this is then how you can begin to align to your own deepest truth. This subtle inner, inner world, this is the real you. This is where the truth of you lies. And by beginning to practice on a macro level externally to listening to the needs of your body, and then also slowing down and dipping into more of the more subtle messages that your body has to share with you, this is how you begin to deepen your own self trust and it's gonna help you make better decisions. Number three is to shift your mindset to see that you do know what is best for you. So again, this is also a development of self-trust. But before we can begin to develop the self-trust, we need to take a step back and it has to be a mental shift that needs to happen. We need to see and change our perspective that we do know what is best for us. So again, many of us have been largely conditioned to put our faith and our trust in an outside authority, and we end up because of this, we end up believing that other people know what is best for us. So it can be very helpful if you are feeling stuck. If you feel that you need to make a decision about something and you don't know what it is that you, that you need to decide, you don't know what option to go for, it can be very helpful to discuss this with someone else. I know for me personally, if I am just spending time thinking about the challenge that I have, I can get very confused. But the moment that I talk to to someone about it, the moment that I express it, when I hear what I'm saying, it kind of, it begins to make more sense to me. So I find it very helpful to talk to other peoples, but <laugh> other people's. So I find it very helpful to share what's on my mind with other people because it helps me to get more clarity. The difference is though, when you do this so that other people can help you decide so that other people can help you solve whatever challenge it is that you are facing. When we ask others what they think we should do or what they think is the best for us, remember that they are mostly going to answer from their perspective and their viewpoint. So this mindset shift of I do know what is best for me, and I can trust that, this is going to allow us to move with more sovereignty through the world and to live our life from self-agency instead of from the authority and the expectations of the people in our lives. Developing this mindset of, you know what is best for you is also going to support you not to override your own feelings. And this is something that happens to many of us where you may quite certainly know that you shouldn't do something, and yet you override all of the signals and the noises and the resistances and the screaming not to do something because you don't want to disappoint anyone or you don't know what others will think of you. You don't want them to judge you or perceive you in a certain way. So this is again where we are giving away our sovereignty and we are giving away our own authority where we override our own knowing in order to please the outside world or to be seen in a certain way. And beginning to really embody this belief that I know what is good for me is going to help you break that pattern. And then number four, know the language of your inner world. So I've spoken about how our inner world has its own language, the subtle real that comprises of all of the data from our mental body and our physical body and our emotional body and our energy body. And everyone's inner world has its own way of communicating. We are all unique in that. This is the domain of the feminine is that flowing feeling state and the subtle senses. So connecting into our feminine, opening ourselves up to feeling what is here, is going to train us to learn this language of our inner world. And here's a little practice that you can try right now. Maybe you want to grab a piece of paper and a pen, or you can just listen to this and maybe write it down afterwards. But I want you to think back of a time when you made a decision that you regretted afterwards it wasn't the right or the best decision for you. And as you recall this situation, I want you just to, in the remembering of that, see if you can remember how you felt, what kind of thoughts and sensations were present in your body. And then you can recall a time where you maybe decided to do something even though it didn't make sense, you decided to do something and it was the right decision. You were so glad that you did this. And reflecting back on that time, just checking in to see what were you feeling, what sensations and what self-talk was there. And this can be so powerful, once we get to know what our inner language is. Our intuition shows up differently for all of us. We all have our own intuitive flavour, and it's very helpful and useful if you begin to develop this skill of getting to know what your intuitive flavour is, what is the way that your inner wisdom speaks up? So go back, reflect a little bit about all the decisions that you've ever made in your life, the choices that you made, and see if you can begin to find a pattern there in terms of what your inner world and your inner language is. Developing the skill of making the best decisions for you, and really tapping into your own body's wisdom, it's a skill that anyone can learn and it really requires of you devotion, and it requires of you a willingness to meet yourself where you are, to cultivate your feminine fuel of depth and sovereignty. And also it requires courage to live this out into the world.